What Are You Waiting For?

Waiting.

Waiting for what?

Perfection.

The perfect dress size.

The perfect life partner.

For the kids to grow up.

For the estranged adult children to call.

For retirement.

For my finances to be better.(Okay, that one might actually be valid.)

How often do we tell ourselves, I'll do it when…

I'll travel when I have more money.

I'll start writing when I have more time.

I'll get together with friends when life settles down.

I'll pursue that dream when everything else is taken care of.

And somehow, "when" can become a very long time.

I've been thinking about this lately because there is a place I've been saying I want to visit for years: Cape May, New Jersey.

Cape May!

It's not exactly an exotic destination requiring a passport, three vaccinations, and a 14-hour flight. I don't even have to pack a suitcase.

I could get in my car, drive a couple of hours, walk around, have lunch, enjoy the beach, and come home.

So what am I waiting for?

The perfect weather?

The perfect day?

My car to suddenly become one of those futuristic sci-fi vehicles that hears me say, "I'd really like to go to Cape May," programs itself, and announces,"Destination selected. Sit back and enjoy the ride."

Apparently, I'm still waiting for that feature.

But it made me wonder:

How many things in our lives are we waiting for that don't actually require perfect circumstances?

A day trip is one thing.

But what about the bigger dreams?

Writing the book you've been thinking about for years.

Going on the safari you've always dreamed of.

Changing careers.

Starting the business.

Learning to paint.

Taking that class.

Hosting the cocktail party you've been talking about.

Moving somewhere new.

Calling the person you've been thinking about.

Or simply deciding that your life doesn't have to look exactly the way you thought it would by this point.

Sometimes we're genuinely waiting for something practical.

Money matters. Health matters. Responsibilities matter. There are circumstances in life that require patience and planning.

But sometimes…

we are waiting for perfect.

And perfect is a very convenient place to hide.

I know one of my own obstacles is overthinking.

I can analyze something from every possible angle until I've analyzed myself right out of doing it.

"Analysis paralysis" is a real thing.

I recently read an article by Science & Soul on Substack that included a question that stopped me:

If nothing changed tomorrow, would you like to keep living this exact life?

Ouch.

It's a powerful question because it asks us to look at our lives as they are—not as we hope they will someday be.

Viktor Frankl wrote about the dangers of becoming overly focused on comfort and avoiding discomfort. And perhaps that is part of what happens when we spend too much time waiting.

We can become so accustomed to the familiar that we mistake familiar for fulfilling.

We tell ourselves we're being practical.

We're waiting for the right time.

We're being responsible.

We're preparing.

But sometimes we're simply afraid.

Afraid of failing.

Afraid of spending money.

Afraid of looking foolish.

Afraid the dream won't turn out the way we imagined.

Afraid that if we actually go after what we want, we'll have to discover whether we're capable of making it happen.

So we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Until one day we look around and realize that life has been happening while we were waiting for the perfect conditions to arrive.

I'm not suggesting we throw caution to the wind.

I'm suggesting something much simpler:

Stop waiting for everything to be perfect before you allow yourself to live.

Go on the day trip.

Start writing the book—even if it's one page at a time.

Plan the cocktail party.

Take the class.

Call the friend.

Try the new restaurant.

Make the appointment.

And if you don't have the money for the safari?

Plan it anyway.

Pick a date. Maybe it's a year from now. Maybe it's two years.

Research where you want to stay.

Decide what you want to see.

Learn about the places you want to visit.

Figure out who you'd love to go with you.

Start a little travel fund.

You may not be able to go tomorrow.

But you can begin moving toward it tomorrow.

There is a difference between waiting and preparing.

Waiting says,"Someday, when everything is right."

Preparing says,"I'm not there yet, but I'm going."

Maybe that's the question I need to ask myself more often:

What am I waiting for?

And then the even better question:

Is there anything I can do today to move toward it?

Because Cape May isn't going to drive itself to me.

And neither are my dreams.

Maybe it's time to stop waiting for the perfect moment.

Maybe the moment doesn't need to be perfect.

Maybe it just needs to be now.